These last couple of trading days have probably been some of my best....no, scratch that, HAVE been my best days of trading. Now, usually when someone makes a bold statement like that it is because they hit a big score. The mother load, they brought home the bacon! But not on this occasion. In fact, I am up the princely sum of £1.85 for the whole week, which is not even a cup of Christmas Special coffee in any one of the high street chains. So why have they been my best days? It's a culmination of things that have come together this week so much more so than at any other time since I started this journey back in May of this year.
Firstly, I've been reading about changing a person's beliefs, manifesting and the power of the Quantum field, and not just reading about it, actively practising it and putting this new knowledge into action. I can hear the naysaying and feel the rolling of eyes as people read that sentence because I too was one of you. WAS, one of you. By my nature I am a very sceptical person when it comes to absolutely everything, so something concerning the Law of Attraction, Manifesting, and the Quantum Field, anything intangible like this, from me, came under considerable scrutiny. In fact I used to look at those type of things and simply put it down to the fact that if people are desperate enough, they will find what they are looking for, that thing that relives the pain, in absolutely ANYTHING if they think for one second that it will help to change their situation. Now though, I can see that my view point and my opinion were based in ignorance because I simply 'poo-pooed' it without having actually read anything, conducted any research or done my own due diligence on the subject, let alone actually try it for myself. It was just that, my opinion. I had nothing other than a belief that it sounded like BS. How ironic considering where I am now with regards to the subject and the importance of beliefs. In recent months I have actually begun to read about and practice, changing my beliefs and all things related to the Quantum Field and Manifesting, and I can honestly say that I feel...different. I feel good for the first time in a long time. I react to displeasing situations differently and I treat the pain these situations inflict just as it should be treated. As information. Information that my desires are not in alignment with my beliefs. I'm more relaxed and in the moment (present). I'm calmer and more forgiving of myself and others. I have mental energy. From this new perspective I can see how negative I was previously, especially when thing's didn't go my way, in anything and everything. But now, because I am more educated and informed, I'm more self aware, and I'm more open to the idea of the power of manifesting and how our beliefs actually guide us and create our physical realities. I can see genuine, sustainable change. I'm not all Mr Positivity because that's not a realistic, genuine, authentic way to be. But more often than not I feel driven, inspired, and have a clarity to things in life that I just didn't have before. Not only that, but I've come to realise just how difficult it is to change a belief because it is so deeply embedded, locked away in our subconscious and our subconscious wants to protect that belief at all costs, even if it means making us miserable.
I've also combined this new attitude with a regular morning meditation. This too was something I was wary of but also more than a little curious about. I started with Dr Joe Dispenza (an hour a day meditation was too long), that lead me to find out about the Law of Attraction and the book '16 Seconds (great book, taught me the value of our thoughts, but a little too 'the power of positive thinking is all you need'). But this book lead me to Dr James R Doty (Aha!) (and Greg Kuhn and his book on changing beliefs, aha aha!). Dr Doty wrote an amazing book called 'Into the Magic Shop.' It is part autobiographical, but also teaches you the same lessons he was taught by a lady called Ruth who worked in a magic shop he used to visit when he was a young boy. He is a neurosurgeon by trade but also founder and director of The Centre for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, a Fellow of Stanford University, and he works closely with the Dalai Lama among many other things. He is a truly amazing man. Ruth taught him four lessons. Relaxing the Body, Taming the Mind, Opening the Heart, and Clarity of Intent. At the moment I am only on the second one and it is only 15 minutes of my day, which I do every morning before trading, but I've found it has really helped me clear the mind and relax me which in turn, makes it so much easier to focus both before I begin, and whilst I trade.
So how has all of this so far helped with my trading?
As you may or may not know depending on if you've read any of my other posts, my achilles heal when it comes to trading is staying in a trade. As soon as I have opened a trade, instead of looking for a reason to add to it (if it's moving in my favour), I am looking for a reason to close it and lock in profit. Any profit. The amount of times I've 'banked' five or six points, then watched in agony as it marched onwards to what could've been 20 or more in my favour, and then tried to convince myself that it was only ever meant as a scalp is embarrassingly large. Jeff Goldblum and the pile of dino shit in Jurassic Park large!
Every morning I would try and tell myself to 'stay in the damn trade!' but I never could. This is then when the discipline would start to take a back seat and particularly if I was down, the desperation trading (actually revenge trading - see the Dr Hyde I Presume post) would happen. This would lead to more losses, more frustration and so on. I'd get close to being even, but that wasn't enough. I had to make it all back which invariably would go wrong and I'd be back to where I started.
But at the beginning of this week I felt different one morning. I felt calmer than I had before and I quietly said to myself, 'Stay in the trade and look to move your stop to break even as soon as you decide is reasonable. You know your strategy works when you stick to it, and whatever happens, happens. If you lose profit, but nothing of your principle, then that's a good trade.'
So I sat, I was patient, and I took the trade at the first signal. I immediately had the usual feelings as it began to creep in my favour, but I reassured myself, and sat firm. Three minutes in and I moved my stop a little tighter by 7 points. Another couple of minutes and I moved my stop to the magical 'break even.'
I felt so proud of myself having done that. I sat through some challenging retracements, but resisted the urge to close. 'What ever happens, happens.'
Eventually it was 20 points in profit, and at this point I had had the trade open for some time, when suddenly, automatically, I closed it. It took me a little by surprise and I was also a little annoyed because I thought to myself, 'Why close it? Your stop is at breakeven?', but then I realised why I'd done it.
Since the beginning of this journey, the original goal to get me to being where I want to be (a millionaire) is 20 points a day. Twenty points a day means that every 10 weeks you will have doubled your account (for me this means my initial £1,000 placed at £1 per point would be £2,000). Once doubled you can then double your stake. So from £1 per point, after 10 weeks you'll be ready to go to £2 per point. Another 10 weeks, £4 per point and so on. When you get to £16 per point, 20 points a day, 5 days a week, that's £1,600 per week. That's a nice new life and freedom from my current situation ( job/ where I live). It is an unwritten rule (belief) that I have ingrained into myself and my subconscious, right from the start. I've only had a handful of prior trades of 20+ points since I began, so when I get one, unfortunately I act on what has become instinct.
Now this is something that I am going to change, and with my new knowledge of what is required to change a belief, I know it will take time and commitment, but it can and will be done. But this wasn't just a one off.
No, 'Au contraire Rodney. Au contraire.'
This happened again that same morning. I held a trade that came within a whisker of stopping me out. I had a 25 point stop loss. I forced myself to sit through it when before, I would've closed it when it went 20 points against me and taken the loss. Eventually it turned around and came back to my entry level, which is where my instincts kicked in again and I closed it. Sure, it then went in my favour and I missed 20 points but, I had gained so much more from that trade than the 20 points would've given me.
The next two days were the same. In fact I even had the presence of mind to close a trade that was going against me (I took it because my strategy dictated that I should even though it was against what appeared to be the overall market sentiment), and switched around to take an opposite position which turned out to be a great trade. I moved my stop twice from 14478 to 14485 and again to 14490 from an entry of 14493 and eventually the instincts kicked in and I closed it. But it was such an amazing feeling! Of course not every trade was like that one. There were ones when I closed, as usual with 5 or 6 points, they went on to show me unrealised profits considerably beyond where I got out. There were losing trades. There were losing days. But the way I dealt with them, the calmness and discipline to follow my strategy as rigidly as I ever have, to not engage in revenge trading, to accept the loss on the day, to actually acknowledge when I had 'bottled it', and was fearful of giving back profits, and so instead of continuing to trade I closed my broker and accepted I was done for the day, was huge!
So you see although at the end of the week I am up less than a coffee when it comes to actual money, my mental bankroll has increased almost immeasurably.
Of course I would like to have made more money because I do love a Starbucks Eggnog latte, but for now, I am just so happy that finally I feel like I am making progress, not just in my trading, but in my life.
Comments