When you decide to drop body fat, essentially change your diet, the first week is usually easy. You're full of confidence and motivation, it's all new and exciting and it's easy to stick to. The second week though, is usually referred to as 'Wobble Week'. This is because a few days into it, you'll start to feel the effects of eating less both physically and mentally. You start to have thoughts of the foods you told yourself you weren't going to have. You have a wobble. This is what I had this week.
I started the week well. I was disciplined and taking only good positions. But on Thursday, I woke up late. I didn't do my usual pre trading routine of writing in my gratitude diary, doing 10 minutes of CARS, and then my usual 20 minute Law of Attraction guided meditation. Add to this I felt...odd. I say odd, but more like aggy. I woke up in a bit of a mood. Now previously when I felt like this I had the mental fortitude to say to myself 'No trading today. You're not in the right mindset, so go do something else instead.', only I didn't. I sat down a proceeded to trade and realised I was not taking proper signals, but rather I was taking the trades I used to take. The speculative, fearful ones. But I didn't stop. I took two losing trades and I could feel the anger starting to build. I stopped. But then later on in the afternoon, at work, I downloaded Cloudtrade and logged into the broker.
'Fuck! Don't do this.'
'Why not? Fuck it I don't care if drop back to my starting balance.'
'Yes you do! You don't mean that!'.
'I do. I don't care.'
'You do care, you know you do.'
'Okay. I'm just going to watch and if a set up comes I'll consider it. Maybe.'
'Thank you. I knew you didn't mean it.'
It's weird to have an inner dialogue with yourself which is in fact an argument. But, common sense and composure won. Well almost. I took a trade. Just the one and on a good set up with a good stop loss. And it won. I immediately deleted the app off my phone.
'Okay. That's it. Stop now, you know you don't want to do this.'
'You're right. I'm a little disappointed with myself to be honest, but it's done now, the apps deleted, and we're all good.'
I had regained control. It felt good. Would it have been a different story if the trade had lost? I'll never know, even though when I think about I have an idea of how it might have gone, but that's all it is, just an idea. I traded well on Friday and managed to again only end up the week taking a total of 10 trades which is so good, especially when in previous weeks I could take almost as many trades in just a couple of hours in the morning. It feels good to be in control of my trading. The problem I have though is that I did also promise myself to start a 90 day challenge in making sure every day I was in a caloric deficit, and sure enough the first week went very well, but the second one...I had a wobble...which lasted....until today. Oh well. At least I'm disciplined in something I guess and tomorrow is the beginning of a new week so...
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