The demons of frustration that is. And when they're unchained things go to shit and I have to fight myself to get them back under control.
What do I mean by this? The fact that when I lose, and lose again, and then again, the emotion of frustration takes over and I will change into another person, like Jekyll and Hyde, and I will just start banging in trades, not caring about the outcome, in fact, I will sit and will the market to stop me out for another loss. Mr Hyde is in full control, angry, irrational, uncomposed. But eventually the frustration subsides and the anger clears and Dr Jekyll regains control and all is calm once again. I know what it is. It's the pressure I am still putting upon myself to succeed. I feel that if I fail at this then I cannot see what other chance I have at living the life I truly desire. Trading is the perfect tool for me so I have to succeed, failure is not an option. And although most of the time this pressure is under control, it doesn't take much for the valve to burst open and when it does, Mr Hyde is ready and waiting.
But, I was able to get control, I put him back in his cage and I fought my way back to ending the day only 9 points down. I did have chances to take trades which would've left me quite a bit up for the day, but as I was trading on my Mobile, whilst I was out walking (!) I decided that although I was calm and fully accepting of any outcome, I needed to be sensible. This again happened on a Thursday...hmmm...is there a pattern forming?
I don't think so. It was the FR/DE/GB Flash Manufacturing day which is always very difficult to trade as the individual candles in the DAX can be very erratic. For example, I observed a 28 point gap up open on the 0815 candle! I have considered in the past that I may not trade these particular days because of the ridiculous volatility, but, the lure of some potentially great gains usually proves too strong. However, in the future I may well sit these days out, as tempting as they are because I know there is an equally great potential for big losses as there are big wins, and I don't want to leave the key in the door of Mr Hydes cage...
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