As I write this it is Wednesday 11th January 2023 and we are in the second trading week of the year. The first week didn't go quite as I had envisioned, and I ended up making a loss. Not the end of the world, it's trading, you can't always win, but you can always improve. And this is why I find myself writing a blog post after I have just finished work, because I feel compelled to get these feelings and the experience of the last two days on paper, so to speak.
The last two days, Tuesday and Wednesday, have simply been the best two days of my trading journey so far. They have been instrumental in my recognition and assessment of the progression of my trading, and how I can see that I am evolving as a trader with a particular focus in relation to my mentality, my discipline and my composure.
The funny thing is, it all started with a lay in.
My alarm on my Apple watch went off as it usually does at 07:05 and I pressed the snooze function, which gives me another 10 minutes grace before I get out of my nice warm bed and begin my morning routine. It involves writing a brief entry in my gratitude diary, a Nespresso, and a 15 minute meditation before sitting down, opening the broker and seeing what has happened in the market overnight, to ready myself for when they officially open at 08:00. Only this morning was different. I felt different. The alarm went off again, only instead of getting up, I snoozed it again. When it went off for the third time at 07:25, I pressed stop, I mentally went through what I had to do before sitting down for the open, and I concluded that as I don't place a trade usually before 08:30, due to my strategy, I still had plenty of time to complete my routine. But then I felt it. The Serotonin was missing. I could feel that I had woken up in an unexplainable, less than desirable mood. Bugger. I don't enjoy feeling like this and I certainly don't enjoy starting my day like it. Now I know that it is 'only' a feeling, I am not actually in a mood and so I have the ability to change this feeling, only, this morning, I didn't have the mental strength and I knew it. So now what?
I laid in bed and just closed my eyes. Next thing I know it's 07:55. Decision time. Previously I would've gotten up, made my coffee, skipped the gratitude diary and meditation, opened the broker and plonked myself down in-front of the charts. But although I felt in a mood, I also had another feeling. The feeling that I shouldn't actually trade, as much as I wanted to. I knew that trading in this state of mind is not only not optimal, but it is not professional. Trading for me is not some hobby, some pastime that I hope to make a little extra money on the side with. No. It is something I intend to do full time to give me a better life in terms of finances and freedom. So that means I should treat is as such. I should trade with a professional attitude, because one day I intend to be professional, albeit only trading for myself with only my money. So I did something I have never done before. I realised and acknowledged the way I felt, and decided I would not trade. Now you may think "So what?", and I wouldn't blame you, but you have to look at it objectively. I have just done something that the 90% struggle to do, or in fact, don't even realise they should do. I acknowledged my mental state, concluded it was not conducive to trading, and didn't trade. That's huge as far as I'm concerned. It shows a mental maturity and level of composure that I have not exhibited before. There have been a number of days when I've woken up in a similar state of mind, traded, and regretted it. But not today. I got up, hand my breakfast and decided I would use this newly acquired time to go to the gym early and have a nice takeaway coffee and a walk in the Winter sunshine before work. I remember now as I was walking, I was thinking about what I had done earlier, the decision I had taken and I felt almost celebratory. It was for me, a milestone in my trading journey. In turn, my mood evaporated and the rest of the day turned out to be pretty damn good. This brings us on to today Wednesday.
It began the same as Tuesday, only this time I got up after the first snooze and I remembered the day before and what I had done and I felt good. In fact, I was feeling very happy and upbeat about trading today. I went through my normal routine only this time with plenty of time to spare before opening the broker and seeing what had happened overnight and where the markets were likely to open in relation to yesterdays close. I have started to open both the DAX and now too, the FTSE, with the intention of trading both simultaneously should they generate the right signals, although my main focus is as always on the more volatile DAX.
The first trade my strategy generated was a SELL at 0840. Now, the old me would've gotten a little panicky when it was 5 or 6 points in profit and would be wanting too close. But as I said, that was the 'old me.' The new me, held the trade and at one point it was 16 points in profit and I still didn't scalp out. In fact I actually said to myself, "I am not scalping this, I am TRADING it." In hindsight I should've maybe scalped it as it moved against me and ended up stopping me out for a 20 point loss. But that is the nature of trading. At this point though something inside me clicked and instead of rueing my loss, thinking about the 16 points I could've had and waiting for the next signal as I had done many a time before, I had the presence of mind to process the 'information' the market was showing me, and I 'Flipped the Switch' to coin a phrase of the great Tom Hougaard. I entered a trade LONG at 14194 (with a stop at 14172) having just been stopped out at 14191. Now you might be reading this and thinking again, "So what?", and I can appreciate and understand that. But you have to realise a few things.
Firstly, I had just taken a losing trade. Now I am not stoic when it comes to trading losses. That is a part of me that is I still sadly have in common with the 90%. A loss seems to have the effect of freezing me mentally like a rabbit in the head lights, and I find myself 'unaware' of the current information. It's as if my brain switches off and I am simply reliving the last trade and dreaming of what could've been and am 'blind' to the current price action.
Secondly, I started out with the notion that if I made 20 points a day, I could double my account every 10 weeks and it wouldn't be long before I was making proper money. I still have this in the back of my mind and I am trying to erase it and simply take each day and each trade as they come because this is the correct way to trade, but it's tough. So here I am 20 points down (essentially 36 points if you count the unrealised profit) so to open a trade almost immediately after this loss is quite a feat for me.
The trade was open and the market began to move in my favour. At 0858 it was sufficiently in profit that I moved my stop to 14190. As the time went by I was watching the trade keenly when it started to move against me slightly. Suddenly I caught site of my P&L and saw that it was 29 points in profit and before I could consciously acknowledge what was happening, click. The trade was closed. Bugger! This is something that I am working on though, and I know will take time because it is a subconscious instinctual reaction, but I'm working on it that's the important thing. When I reviewed my trades that night after work, I concluded that I said previously, my subconscious was aware of my prior loss, even if I was consciously trying not to think about it, and as it was also working from the belief of 'needing' to make 20 points a day, the fact that right now that prior loss had been wiped out and I had 9 points in profit, it took control of my motor functions and closed the trade. Oh well. In these situations if I am a little more self aware I can catch this 'instinct' when I feel it building because a trade is moving against me, and I either employ the Marabuzo technique or I will quite often drop down to the 1 minute time frame as it gives a lot more detail so can help calm my subconscious because I can see that the move is not that strong.
So there you have it. This is only the second time that I have flipped the switch, but it shows that I am making progress, I am building new neural pathways and in doing so my trading is evolving into that which I desire it to be.
It is a sneak peek of what could be, and a small step towards the realisation of potential.
Comentarios